ursula-theseabitch:

So you telling me that the U.S has completely cured the American doctor with Ebola in 26 days and he’s being released today. While Africa has been dealing with it since the 70’s and they are still looking for a cure?

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totallyfubar:

andinstantlyifellinlove:

totallyfubar:

That whole planting the american flag on the moon thing really backfired on us because the sun’s radiation bleached the flag entirely white and now it’s just the french flag planted in the moon which makes no sense

Well, as I always say, VIVE LA REVOLUTION!

Vive la what, I just called the white flag of surrender the French flag, sit down

toogaay:

when in doubt, eat her out

  • Customer: How can you do this job (stripping)? Isn't it degrading having to take your clothes of for money?
  • Dancer: You're the guy that just forked out $300 for me to take my clothes off. Isn't it degrading having to pay that much before a girl who looks like me will take her clothes for you?
  • babyspeight:

    restlesslochness:

    natnovna:

    "obama is fuckin up"

    true 

    "should have voted for the other guy"

    FALSE 

    No. We should have voted for the other guy you twats. Were all fucking doomed now.

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    sadstagram:

    *Ugly white dude voice* Taylor swift is so obsessive and crazy about the people she dates i’d never date her lol! Bro can you turn up the eminem song? This is the one about him murdering his wife it’s my favorite lol